break go the days and they become whispers in the back of my head
telling me what to do
they go to static, and I turn emphatic, I turn them to dust and no one knew
heart-attack, taking over my chest, reminding me I am owed less
for these misfortunes that they bring on me
and it grows numb, I can’t see. everything has gone black as night.
and we break making our move in an attempt to lose ourselves in the truth.
and we make it back for my 18th birthday party.
they’re all cheering, but they can’t see anything, it’s just dust.
and the candles burn down to the cake which, by now, is turning to something sick
something I can’t eat, something worthless like this life.
and my gifts, all I got was silly putty and it was wrapped in newspaper
from the day one gave birth to her, reminding me of nightmares I had
it’s been nothing but hell, nothing but skin
nothing but pleasure, but really I’ve been faking
something she whispers tears apart my insides
there’s nothing left for me to hide.
it’s eating away at my lies, making them truths
making them a trap, I can’t escape, I’ve been snared
it’s the modesties, like cutting my hair.
I’m burning, I’m nothing, I can’t feel anything, but my fears
that’s all that’s here.