this is for the only one who caught my heart and clung on though those days
and let go and forced herself away. it doesn’t make any sense. how can I change this, how can I win you back? what are your demands? what is it that I lack? I’m trying to pull through, I trying to reach the top of the cliff I fell off of and cope with the monsters up there. and I do all of this just to be the one to smell your hair. do you call that devotion? do you call that love? and if you still won’t believe then I guess I’ll ay that I’m though with you and this fucked-up world where every move I make is to sweep a girl off her feet. there’s nothing else here to live for. there’s nothing here that’s good. well, there’s nothing I can get to.

so I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re stuck behind my eyelids. don’t worry, I’ll get you out, I’ll never quit trying. thinking I can help you is about the only thing that keeps me alive coz everything else is pushing me to dieing.

(I just avoided disaster)
squeeze me as hard as you can
squeeze the life from within my skin
I’ll close my eyes and imagine you’re here.
but, I know it’ll never again be this way, at least that’s what I hear
but I’m begging you to never put me down. don’t let me out of your mind.
I’m just a small child, please, dear, please, be kind.
I shut my eyelids and see my eye.
and if you ever open your mouth again it won’t be no lie, but it won’t be sincere because another soul has placed it there.







Tony, this is what I have been meaning to tell you, but wanted talk in person. You don’t love me and you know that, i feel like i don’t even know who you are and if i don’t know who you are how can you possibly know me? the word love is over used by everyone in this world and so i don’t think people should say it unless they really and truly know what love actually is and even if someone does mean it they say it so much that when you really wanna tell someone how much you love them it wont be enough and it wont mean as much because they say it all the time. This e-mail prolly should have been made sooner and you might have already forgotten stuff and might not even care now but now i don’t feel so guilty for not saying what i have been meaning to say. i hope you had a good Christmas!! and happy new year! write back some time
heather




his parents were always fighting
and he could never know where his real mom was
but it didn’t make a difference really
and he never knew actually what he was
but in his mind he’s just a tragedy