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tonight, I find myself stuck inside my bedroom and I’m looking at old pictures and thinking of the presence of the feeling I miss her. seems everybody here is in agreement with me. perhaps that’s the reason I can’t find anyone to talk to coz everyone I do isn’t really here. I’m lying on the rug trying to find my eyelids so I can temporarily leave this life without a purpose just to come back to it a few hours later. I see a photo of the sunset over a scene that I regret and a memory I won’t soon forget and a situation I involuntarily left.
all this time I’m fingering the letters I never sent her from those nights when I imagined we were together in the coffee shop or at her house or mine, it doesn’t make much difference; it was all based on my ignorance anyway. then I pass away into the smoke of a dream that seems too real to be a fakery, but I know it is, but I still wish it weren’t like this, I wish the real world were the dream and I had just woke up. things are so much less complicated now, in my dreams.
I just need to get over my problems and get these plans started. I need to put some tissue paper to fill the space where my heart really is coz in a week or two it will be traveling the city with you. you’re everywhere at once, except here with me, where we both know you should be. you say that I don’t love you and that I should know it, but it’s nothing like that here in the place where I’m at. maybe where you are you can’t have dreams, make love, or even laugh, but that’s just where you are. and maybe you will leave and come spend some time with me. so you think after all that you’ve pushed me into and through, leaving bits of me behind, that I’ll just turn around shake your hand goodbye, but you must be out of your mind, coz things can never be that way again, not that they’ve ever been. I know the source of your lines, the source of this philosophy, I know the maker of these excuses and I often see him sitting next to me, but after tonight, no more. I will no longer speak to that man. it’s hard to explain where exactly I am, here in between these feelings of disgrace, love and hate, no, I don’t know where I am, but I’m no where with that man.
all this time I’m fingering the letters I never sent her from those nights when I imagined we were together in the coffee shop or at her house or mine, it doesn’t make much difference; it was all based on my ignorance anyway. then I pass away into the smoke of a dream that seems too real to be a fakery, but I know it is, but I still wish it weren’t like this, I wish the real world were the dream and I had just woke up. things are so much less complicated now, in my dreams.
I just need to get over my problems and get these plans started. I need to put some tissue paper to fill the space where my heart really is coz in a week or two it will be traveling the city with you. you’re everywhere at once, except here with me, where we both know you should be. you say that I don’t love you and that I should know it, but it’s nothing like that here in the place where I’m at. maybe where you are you can’t have dreams, make love, or even laugh, but that’s just where you are. and maybe you will leave and come spend some time with me. so you think after all that you’ve pushed me into and through, leaving bits of me behind, that I’ll just turn around shake your hand goodbye, but you must be out of your mind, coz things can never be that way again, not that they’ve ever been. I know the source of your lines, the source of this philosophy, I know the maker of these excuses and I often see him sitting next to me, but after tonight, no more. I will no longer speak to that man. it’s hard to explain where exactly I am, here in between these feelings of disgrace, love and hate, no, I don’t know where I am, but I’m no where with that man.
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